Just Poppin’ Off: The Only Path to Happiness in Tuscaloosa, Alabama Is an Arranged Marriage

Imagine opening your DMs and finding this message. “How are you filling over there this afternoon petty one … Pls can I tie your shoe for you because I don’t want you falling for someone else.”

He might have gotten the “petty” part correct. I was like, “you might need to put your readers on before sending DMs.” The next thing I know, I was blocked. And my dating life which is a complete comedy show, went to the next level.

What is up with these dudes that don't even know how to hold a conversation? That's why I think older women date younger guys because these young tenderoni fellas get straight to the point. It gets old fast when the woman has to instigate all the questions on these crazy dating apps.

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Well, after a few margaritas with the girls, we concluded that an arranged marriage is probably the way to go in 2021 and beyond. I know it’s selfish to think like this because different cultures still enforce arranged marriages.

Can arranged marriages be all that bad?

An arranged marriage is a union that is decided upon by parents or family systems. According to Brides, “it’s estimated over half of the marriages worldwide are arranged and that over 20 million of those unions exist in the world today.” What? Can I get on that list?

Also, Bride noted that in India, “where some estimate that 90 percent of marriages are arranged, the divorce rate is only 1 percent.”

I’ve been was watching a TV show on Netflix called ‘Never Ever Have I Ever.’ It is a cute high school drama, but one of the cousins was going through an arranged marriage setup, and she loved it.

The courtship was with a super-hot guy. He seemed to have a good head on his shoulder, and he had some good values. I had high hopes. Then the bottom fell out when the dude didn’t support her decision to stand up for herself to her male colleagues. This all goes back to my life statement about people. You don't have to be against me, but the big question is, are you for me?

Mic drop, there went my theory about arranged marriages.

At this stage in life, I don’t want to waste time for both of us. Well, I guess an arranged marriage is probably not going to happen in the United States. But if anybody feels it's fine to set me up, I definitely would love it. Just please make sure the man is not holding up a fish in his profile picture.

(Source) Click here for more from Brides.